Funny Children's Stories. Bilingual Edition [Slava Brodsky] (fb2) читать постранично, страница - 61

The Old Woman and the Cart My mom and I went to GUM last week^[24]. And while we were there, we stood in line for ice cream. Because the kind of ice cream they sell in GUM cannot be found anywhere else in the world. At first, the line for ice-cream went pretty quickly, but then they ran out of ice cream. And the old woman who was selling it took her empty cart to get a refill.

The old woman left, but everyone stayed in line, waiting. After about fifteen minutes, everyone began to wonder what was taking the girl so long. And I asked Mom why everyone called the old woman a girl. And Mom said that the old woman was not really that old. And if you took the kerchief off her head, she would turn out to be pretty young.

Here the old woman showed up with her cart. And everyone began to wonder how much ice cream she had. A man in a military uniform said to someone with confidence that the ice cream would end just before this person. And after that, everyone immediately calmed down.

But it soon became very clear that the ice cream would end even earlier than the military man thought. Because many bought not just one ice cream but two. And those who stood at the end of the line started to yell that only one ice cream should be sold per person.

But they were yelling without any confidence, only to yell, just out of habit. Those at the end of the line always yell. That was why no one thought to listen. So many bought two ice creams. But when someone wanted to buy four ice creams, the line just blew up.

And everyone started to yell that four ice creams should not be sold to one person. And the man who wanted to buy four ice creams asked everyone, “Why not?” And the military man answered him, “If you are told that you must not, then you must not!”

And so this man could not buy four ice creams. Even after he was gone, the military man could not calm down for a long time and kept saying that “many people just do not understand one simple thing: if you are told that you must not, then you must not!”

The old woman went away with her cart again. And again we all waited for a long time. Finally, she came with a full cart of ice cream again. And my mom said that because we stood there for so long, we would buy three ice creams, not just two. Then Dad would also have some ice cream.

She also said that it would be difficult to keep the ice cream frozen until we came back home. But she said that we would do our best. Because it was very cold outside. And in the trolley it should also be very cold.

When I realized that I would not have my ice cream for the next half an hour, something inside of me just dropped. And at that very moment, Mom looked at me and said that I should eat my ice cream right away, and we would bring the other two home.

When we brought home the ice cream, Dad said that his doctor told him not to eat ice cream and that I should eat his ice cream. Dad's doctor tells Dad not to eat a lot of stuff.

This year, in the spring, Mom brought home two tomatoes. She bought them at the farmer’s market since tomatoes are sold in regular stores only in the summer time. The tomatoes that Mom brought home from the farmer’s market were bright red and very beautiful. They looked magical.

And Mom asked Dad whether he knew how much she paid for these tomatoes at the farmer’s market. And Dad asked how much these tomatoes cost. And when Mom replied to him, Dad’s eyes widened.

And then he said that his doctor told him not to eat tomatoes. The doctor tells him not to eat many things. He tells him not to eat most fruits. Vegetables too. Not all of them, but many of them. And something else too. But I do not remember what.

So this was how I got my second ice cream. Mom gave Dad a bite of her ice-cream. And Dad took a few bites. But each time he bit off only a little piece because he did not want to disobey his doctor. And Mom gave Dad a hug and told me, “You see, our dad knows: if you are told that you must not, then you must not!”

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Сегодня уже настоящая зима и очень холодно. А я не люблю, когда холодно на улице. Особенно я не люблю, когда холодно и дует ветер.

Зимой, когда я только ещё просыпаюсь, я уже знаю, что за окном ветер и холодно. Поэтому зимой мне особенно не хочется просыпаться. А когда я просыпаюсь, я думаю только о том, что очень скоро мне надо будет выйти на улицу, где холодно и дует ветер. И я не могу думать больше ни о чём другом.

Я выпиваю утром чашку чая и съедаю то, что даёт мне мама. Я слушаю, как она меня торопит и говорит, что я опять опоздаю в школу, и удивляется, почему я медленно двигаюсь. И она часто говорит мне, что ей кажется, что я совсем застыл.

И вот я выхожу на лестницу, сползаю вниз с нашего четвёртого этажа и подхожу к дверям подъезда. Я открываю внутреннюю дверь и сразу начинаю слышать, как воет ветер. И когда я вхожу в тамбур между внутренними и внешними дверями, я почти всегда удивляюсь, как там холодно. И мне только страшно представить себе, как холодно там, за дверями нашего подъезда.

На внешнюю дверь надо налегать всем телом. То ли потому, что на ней пружина жёсткая, то ли потому, что ветер дует, а может быть, потому, что пружина и ветер в одну и ту же сторону действуют.

И потом, когда я в дверь уже протиснулся, надо ещё её ногой придержать. А когда я ногу отпустил, мне надо ещё от двери увернуться, чтобы она меня не прихлопнула. И когда дверь закрывается, то в этот самый момент я только окончательно понимаю, как всё плохо.

И самое плохое, это то, что ещё очень темно. А когда холодно и темно, это гораздо хуже, чем когда холодно и светло. И когда я иду ещё внутри нашего двора, то тогда мне не так холодно. Потому что я ещё тепло своё не растерял. А когда я выхожу на улицу, ветер начинает дуть в лицо очень сильно и, главное, без перерыва.

Конечно, я опускаю уши своей шапки и поднимаю воротник. Но это не